Sunset Point.
Phew! Finally we moved on to proceed towards the sunset point. Back in the tavera, my concerns for neha and ashutosh increased a bit. They were having a good time no doubt. But neha was a girl of emotions. And ashutosh was a man of finding and setting his priorities. Where would they fit in this innocent relation they were building every moment?

And talking about neelam. I really don’t know what attracted me more towards her. Her new plump look or her hair and eyes. Or was it the sympathy that she had a hard time recently. I will settle for the plump look. But what marked it more was that I kinda tried but completely failed in imagining me and her getting intimate. No matter how hard I tried to think, I could not that. Why was that? Why could I not see it? Why was there a lack of sexual attraction towards her? There are few things that I could imagine. Like holding her hands, hugging her. Kissing her gently. But that’s it. Then I realized that it was simply because I was not really dating her. My mind was mentally not prepared to accept her that way. I had neither committed or had spent enough time to think that way.

Sunset point arrived and we all jumped out of our vehicle in eagerness to catch the view. It was splendid! I got down near the edge while neelam followed behind. It was a bit slippery path. I tried asking neelam to hold my hand while she got down. But I guess even she was reluctant to take that kind of help fully. She slipped a bit, but it was alright. At the edge, we saw the breathtaking view awaiting us. Neha and ashutosh settled beside us. Neetu too came and plopped next to us. It was still evening and we had a couple of hours before sunset.

Neelam got up and said she would want to look around and take a walk. I said nothing. Neha gave me a look. She said “jaa naa uske saath. Why don’t u join her?”. I gave that closed wide smile and nodded my head. Join her for what! She did not see me that way at all in the first place. Besides I just liked her. I like so many women. She is one of them. I looked back and stretched my neck to find her. She was looking like a nostalgic dream standing there and blankly looking at the depths of the mountains asking a thousand questions about her life. It was a Kodak moment. But the cam had already died due to low power.

Looking ahead I saw three smaller hills surrounded by larger ones. We were in one of them. The pattern reminded me of the earings neelam was wearing the other day. Three small shiny stones cut across by another in an arc going over it diagonally. It reminded me of Phuggu and iqra. But I did not feel anything. I tried looking above into the clouds. Phuggu was not there. The wind blowing across my face told me that I was home.

Ashutosh was in a scene where he stood like a bollywood hero in super dilemma and pain at the edge. He had his one foot on a small rock and face upwards with eyes closed while he ruffled his hair backwards with both his hands. Left alone, he would look as if posing for a photo shoot. But otherwise said a lot about his personality. I looked back again and saw neelam walking around. I also saw a lot of guys coming around the place. It kinda worried me. It was common to have simple issues by high spirited teenagers looking for fun away from home. I hoped she came next to us soon. She did. Also, there was an asshole who was trying to click her pic from his mobile phone. Neha gave him her share of cold stares.

After a while I glanced at my right to see ashutosh fast asleep with his head resting on neha’s lap and his body curling sideways. To my left dear neetu was asleep with her face buried in the shadow of neelam. To be honest, even I felt sleepy. But I did not dare to rest my head on neelam. She would push me off the mountain. And I had a business to run. So I guessed it was not worth the risk :p

Anyways. Talking about ashutosh, he looked real gentle sleeping peacefully there.. He looked like a tired child that god himself had picked in his hands and put to sleep. The place looked no less than an abode of god himself. Abode. I remember my ex once saying Abode Photoshop. If you think it was a mistake, then there is another. She once quipped ‘Ghadwad Bhita’.

Neelam was otherwise very distant. Who wasn’t. I am sure she was filled with all the thoughts of her ex, and feelings that asked justice. What did I do wrong? Why did I deserve it? To me it is just another process that god conditions you to go through.

God’s own child
After a while Ashutosh got up and he and neha left the place. After a while neetu left. I was worried if the wind blew hard enough, she would fly. At last, I and neelam were left alone. Like some perfect rhythm from a western classical movement, the time came to a standstill. The evening sun draped a gentle orange veil on her face. With the wind tottering around like an excited child, it tossed her hair wildly over her face and back. Her spectacles deflected the light partly on her eyes, giving a diffused effect. And her white glowing skin showed their tenderness with bruised faded reddish pimples that once adorned her face. Her adorable lips broke into a smile making the prominence of her chin smoothen away. I never wanted her to stop
smiling. She was god’s own child.

I broke into an awkward conversation and soon we both were talking about her dreams. Her plans to do MBA, people management and write articles. I felt at a point it was so difficult being a woman. There are restrictions everywhere and all of them looked down on them. She was not happy with her manager (who is?). But I loved the pride she took in telling about the articles she used to write. Including the one she wrote in MS for an internal circulation. I asked her about her hobbies whereupon she told me about her interest in reading books.

I remembered the incident when I was in my tenth standard. My father threw away all my books I had collected from my fourth standard. They were in all about 300+ books weighing about 52 kilos. He simply threw them away from our second floor home and all the slum kids just picked them up, tore and burned them. I cried for four days and went without food for five days. It was the last time he ever did that. By the time four months passed, I had purchased all my favorite books again. And to top it, I started a library of my own in my local area and earned a lot of pocket money. My first form of Independence. I loved reading books too.

While we were at it, I also explained my interest in creating planes and talked about the project we were doing in which a plane built by us would be controlled by a GSM mobile. At that point of time, I looked how windy it was getting and wondered if our plane could sustain this powerful gust. It had to be heavier. It meant more fuel. Hmm…

Looking back at neelam, I wondered what was there about her that made me feel this way. There was nothing actually. She was just another girl. My feelings made her special. Perhaps it was high time I got a girlfriend. But I did not find the need to. God has been grateful enough to give me multiple relations or pampering of some kind that took care of my needs. Back here, I just wanted to give back some. It was getting colder and we decided to head back. But since the view was so beautiful, we decided to sit there for few more minutes.

I wondered what ashutosh and neha were up to. We sat in silence for a few moments. I listened to what all she had said. At some times it was difficult to hear because she was speaking in a low voice and the wind was blowing too hard. I felt so much to tell her ‘neelam, go do what you want… I will take care of it’… but again I was sitting closer to edge and there was every chance she would kick me down.

Pepsi. – Yeh Dil _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.
Believe me, the moments I spent over there was the best in my life. Partly because… I never ever ever ever ever imagined I would be one day sitting with neelam in Lonavla. If someone would have told me that in MS, I would have laughed hard enough to kill myself. And such quality time. I wish I had talked more. I wish I had the opportunity to spend time with her more often. I wish... I had the chance to bring that smile back on her face. I so much wanted to fulfill her every wish and help her realize her dreams. But then I looked on with a constant smile of helplessness. I was nobody. Besides, there are a lot of people out there whom she can relate to. She was in good hands of her parents. I silently wished her luck. If I had my way, I would hold her hands and let her rest on me… while our fingers entwined in finding comfort and company. She was such a doll. But I had a previous experience of such dolls biting me back.

Neha – The Dynamic super mom
We headed back soon and reached near the road. Our tavera was parked opposite. We stood there for a while when neha came complaining. I can’t recollect what exactly but I asked her to enjoy the sunset, be romantic and urged her to be with Ashutosh. For a moment I felt I was pushing her towards suicide. I mean mental suicide over long run. Now look at her. She was smiling so much. Her voice was kinda excited. She wanted to be there. Looking back at neha, I can say that she was of female that had multiple qualities. She reminded me of those dynamic Punjabi aunties who were broad minded and hip. They were traditional but connected to their children. Fantastic home makers but also sensible mothers. She was one of those people with the perfect mix and match of qualities that would make her as a true super mom.

You get what I mean? So when I watched her in excitement jump around and move towards the view, I could see that this would be one of those times which she would smile and laugh upon many years down the line. I only hoped that the emotions did not make her blue for coming months. I and neelam debated on the issue a while before we all proceeded to Mumbai. It was a good day after all. No matter how little in worldly terms, I felt nice that I could spend time with neelam. My kind of time. After I spoke to her, I felt how much she needs to do in life. Her aspirations were like million others in jobs who hoped that one day they will do what they always wanted. I felt a lot luckier. Yes, my job was hard in sense of rewards, but I was content and happy. I loved my job.

Where did I pee?
Back in the vehicle, we were getting hungrier. So we stopped by another small fast food joint within lonavla and ordered hot vada pavs. The most disgusting thing about this joint was the bathroom. So pitch dark that we had to carry our cell phones and use its backlight as a guide. I don’t know where I really peed. But I was feeling a lot better as there was room for food
. We sat across a small table while the vada pav’s flowed in. I was flipping my mobile when neelam asked me why I did it all the time. It was on more than one occasion she asked me that. Actually I had a million thoughts that I contemplate all the time. And flipping the cell phone constantly was a way to keep them stable. If I had a cap with a small fan on it, it would run 24/7 by the sheer power of thoughts my mind processed. But what ever, the bathroom left an impression on me. Either these people were super lazy to fix the lights or they had taken the good ol bathroom for granted. One day, when a snake would sneak inside and bite someone’s butt, they would know.

Taste of Neelam.
Now don’t get excited by that title. While we headed back, we chanced to see upon beautiful crockery made of clay and other materials laden on the road side. Neelam treaded towards it and picked up a beautiful cup that had a theme of a wooden tree. Every thing she picked was something that I loved too. She had a taste that matched mine. I could visualize me and her shopping in Lifestyles. We would have made such a lovely couple… shopping together for all things. I loved shopping and buying things. It would be so lovely to shop on and on with her. Considering my average credit card bill per month exceeded 40K, I could see it doubling with her around. We picked a small salt / pepper holder. It collectively was priced at 70/-. It was costly, but worth the design and color. We actually spent about 25 mins looking at different stuff.

Finally, as it was a bit costly and also not so feasible to carry them all, we went back to our tavera. Everyone inside was sitting in pin-drop silence. They were waiting all this while patiently for us. It embarrassed me to take up so much of their time. We hopped in and zoomed away.

End of Day Two!
We reached kalyan after two hours and finally crashed in my place. Initially there was a debate with my parents as to where the girls will sleep. At last, me and Ashutosh were given the hall, while the girls got exclusive an room inside. To me, it was again something more than expected. Neha and neelam were in my house! Wow… I felt very special.

I will reserve my thoughts of the night and save it for the next post. All I can say is that when neelam gave a message to ashutosh on his sore back the second time (once before in shirdi, at our guest room), I felt 0.35% envious. Some guys had all the good looks in the world and a way to gel along so comfortably. Not that I wanted a massage now.

On other thoughts, I kinda did not really like neelams hands. Why!!!!??? Nothing wrong dear friends. Its just that I love conic hands more. That is the ones that have long slender ends. Artistic hands. Neelams fingers and hands were short and kinda frimppy. Frimppy? Its my invented word at the moment. Its like shrunken and crumpled version of an otherwise beautiful finger. Her thumb was a bit clubbed, denoting a sharp mind and good memory. And someone who can keep secrets. But what also alerted me was the deceitful nature that it portrayed. It also talked about confused minds. People who did not really knew what they wanted and were unsure of things most of the times.

Oh! And btw, there was this jackass neelam was dating long long ago. He was a taurean. So in a way she was cautious and disliked most taureans. What a pity. I would have not minded to turn into sarge from Quake 4, and hunt that bastard down. Piff pow wAkyoOf. Or Bim Bim BAam. I wanted to ask him why in the world cant he see that he killed an opportunity of all the good and decent taurean people out there who could have had a “lived happily ever after” story with such a beautiful girl?

Huh. Wait till you hear what happened at the beach tomorrow. I had the whole night to relive the golden moments of the day – our conversation at the sunset point.